Athletic Superstar Gifts

'Needless to say, discus-thrower Bill Nordlander went to college on a full athletic scholarship.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

Westview High School Soccer League Victory Dinner

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"All those training sessions, seminars and studies... ... to reinforce the reality of womens equality and extirpate any remnants of a deluded belief in male superiority When all we had to do was show them Rachel Daly doing a bicycle kick GASP!"

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

Soccer coach of the year.

Wilfried Zaha

A woman watches football on her computer.

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Cristiano Ronaldo

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Future Wrestler

Gareth Bale

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

"Go ahead, Perkins. I can listen to your report and roll out my hammies at the same time."

Lionel Messi

Footballers - Henrik Larrson

'That's not what is meant by a free kick.'

Professional football.

Goal

The most probable explanation to the mind of a sixteen year old tennis star

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

"It took a lot of hard work to get here, but it was all worth it in the end."

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

'True - There is no 'I' in team. But there is in 'I don't need my crummy team.'

George Best

Harry Kewell

Your counselor wants you to concentrate on one sport. Ok. Sports Camp. Which do you like best? Maybe baseball. Great. Or soccer or lacrosse. I'm proud of you, Teddy! You don't care about being the cool sports star! Ok. Then soccer.