Athletic Superstar T-Shirts

'Needless to say, discus-thrower Bill Nordlander went to college on a full athletic scholarship.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

Westview High School Soccer League Victory Dinner

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"All those training sessions, seminars and studies... ... to reinforce the reality of womens equality and extirpate any remnants of a deluded belief in male superiority When all we had to do was show them Rachel Daly doing a bicycle kick GASP!"

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

Soccer coach of the year.

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

A woman watches football on her computer.

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

Wilfried Zaha

Cristiano Ronaldo

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Future Wrestler

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

"Go ahead, Perkins. I can listen to your report and roll out my hammies at the same time."

'That's not what is meant by a free kick.'

The most probable explanation to the mind of a sixteen year old tennis star

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

"It took a lot of hard work to get here, but it was all worth it in the end."

Professional football.

Goal

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

'True - There is no 'I' in team. But there is in 'I don't need my crummy team.'

'See that? A pile of twigs! That's how you end up if you don't stretch properly before the game.'