Basketball Court Jokers Gifts

'It's all Dewey's fault, coach. Rick was showing me how he can fit an entire basketball in his mouth when Dewey walked up and slapped him on the back.'

Gary turns 40.

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'...How can I trust you to handle multimillion-dollar accounts if you can't even spin a basketball on your fingertip?'

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'

"We specialize in pretrial publicity."

Should I be encouraged by your robe, your honor? No. It's just laundry day. Have a nice verdict.

Just what were you doing in Georgia anyways Hmmm Isn't it true that you were lookin' for a soul to steal Your confession states that you were in a bind cause you were way behind, Care to elaborate, Mr, Seacrest I mean, Lucifer,,

"With all due respect, instead of the phrase 'bank robbery,' we request the alleged incident be referred to as an 'Elmore Leonard moment!'"

"My attorney feels it's unwise for me to continue to represent you."

"This is called silent tennis? It's like regular tennis without the racket."

"Just practice half-court shots - all other shots have lost their meaning."

'Ask your partner if he'd be interested in a spin-off show in the time slot after yours.'

'That would be way embarrassing.'

I have a weak case, so I thought I'd use big word balloons.

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that what you don't know won't hurt you.'

'The Giants vs. Trolls'

"And this is the juvenile court."

"Maestro, a little sentencing music, if you please."

'Well, so much for Hennessey. ... But from now on, don't make anyone dribble too close to the piranha tank.'

'Is throwing a toupee a technical foul?'

'Ernie, pluck yourself! We're skins!!'

'I hate it when court's out in recess.'

'I see that wearing underwear endorsed by Michael Jordan has done nothing for your jump shot.'

'He's got tennis viewer's elbow'

Why pirates don't get picked in basketball teams.

'See that? Every single time he gets the ball, he takes too many steps, and they never call it.'

Oh, stop trying to impress the witness with all your fancy legal mumbo jumbo, your honor. I saw her first!

'Being a royal court jester hasn't just been all glitz and glamor you know. Oh sure, there's been a lot of laughter on the outside but tehre's been a lot of crying,dysentry,cholera,gout and bubonic plague on the inside.'

'The jury find the attorneys guilty of twisting the facts, the witnesses guilty of lying, and you, Your Honor, guilty of snoring.'

"O.K.m who overinflated the ball?"

'I like to listen to white noise to relax.'