Baseball Buff Gifts

"There's your problem."

"Oh, hell."

"The client looks bored, Leventhal - take off your shirt and run around the infield."

'Somewhere, there's a little league game that won't go into extra innings.'

Baseball team emerging from hibernation

'Good news and bad news, Kevin. You tested negative for steroids, but positive for estrogen.'

"I just don't see how an index fund tied to batting averages actually works."

'Mr Blum, the last words of 'The Star Spangled Banner' are not 'PLAY BALL!''

"All right! Have it your own way. It was a ball."

"I'm afraid he's right-there's nothing in here about slobber balls."

"Are you sure he's saying 'Death to the infielders'?"

The Ekert Saga: '...A place where people are always unhappy no matter how well things are going? Ah! Got it...Go to Fenway Park in Boston.'

"I'd like you to excel."

Dialogue about the relationship.

Life with a major league catcher.

'True - There is no 'I' in team. But there is in 'I don't need my crummy team.'

"Sorry Kid, I can't afford a ticket, either!"

"If I tag some fan with a foul ball, does the team lawyer have my back?"

Pitchers arm falls off.

"Sure I know there are more important things than football. There's Baseball, basketball, hockey..."

Spring Training

"Do you mind if I use yet another sports analogy?"

Heaven is where bad light and rain never stop play and a match never ends in a draw.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

'Ok, there's some duct tape. Are you happy now, Mr. Prima Donna?...'

"It's the bottom of the ninth, with two outs and bases loaded, and you're in the batter's box doing situps for some reason."

Signed Baseball - Scientists,

'It's a note from coach. He wants you to move over a shade to the left.'

"Boring game today."

J. Willems - batting champ, home run champ, tested negative for steroids.

"I don't care if he is a baseball immortal. He should wear a robe and carry a harp like the rest of us."

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"Remember, son, it's not about winning ... it's about not embarrassing me."

"And another pitcher from, Team Zombie, THROWS OUT his arm."

The Las Vegas Oddsmakers