Baseball Afficionado Gifts

Church League - Thou Shalt Not Steal

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Portrait of a Lady"

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Back to school.

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

350 Feet.

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Raheem Sterling

Perils of the double play.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

Mohamed Salah

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

Sheltering in place.

Vendor selling testosterone.

"Think of me as the designated sitter."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

I love Basketball.