Barsa Believer Gifts

Andrés Iniesta

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

William Shakespeare

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

Gracie sees a plane on Christmas Eve and tells her dad Santa is flying it.

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

"Take. Your. Time!"

'The Bear' pub, changed to 'The Bull.'

"I'm Mr. Trump's attorney and this is my attorney. Once his attorney arrives, we can begin."

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

'She's attending a 'confidence empowerment' seminar, to have her aura recharged.'

'Santa, don't believe him. He's the one who ate the cookies and milk last year.'

An environmentally sound Christmas - Plant a Seedling - Full tree in 16 years.

'Be good! Santa's watching!'

'Het Dad, I don't need a bike from Santa anymore. I just found one behind your wardrobe!'

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

"I'm a little angel when I'm asleep. Does that count?"

"Why the hell aren't you writing all this down?"

I heard a rumor that he's going to deliver presents using drones this year! I hope not! Drone technology is far less reliable than Rudolph and the other reindeer! And besides, Christmas eve won't be the same if the sound of sleigh bells is replaced by the buzzing of a drone! My big brother said if I don't make his bed for him every day, he'll hack into Santa's database and put me on the "naughty" list. I've never trusted his computer system. And e-mail. I ask for presents with a hard-copy

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

"If you're not a good boy, Santa will bring you only educational toys."

"If you don't bring me what I want, next year I'll go straight to the manufacturer in China!"

"Another one asking me to fix the climate crisis."

'You know, it's not good for kids' self-esteem to keep harping on about this 'naughty or nice' stuff.'

"Do you have all those things in stock?"

'Yes, Judy...looks like we're putting a good face on the impending bad weather.'

"Great grunts, next week we'll try some weights."

'If you're a good boy, Santa will bring you tires next year.'

'Ben, that's what I hate about this crowded gym... there's no freedom of the bench press.'