Barroom Beau Gifts

Piano Bar

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

Bed Fellow

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

'This makes things very messy. He's claiming he programmed the lunchroom toaster to do muffins.'

"Do you know what girls want?"

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

'Gravity wins - again.'

Beer

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

'The guy at the next table said he'd have what you're drinking.'

Executive MFA

"Is that 'good reptilian' or 'bad reptilian'?"

Wine Lovers

"I'll have whatever they're having."

"I can see that you're a cultured individual..."

'As you wish Santa. But if we allow them to share our bed only once, be prepared to put up with them every night!'

"Fascinating!"

"To the lady in the harbor."

'How did it go?' 'We had an exchange of views...I went in with my views and came out with hers!'

Minuet

The Icebreaker

"I think we walked into the wrong bar."

"To quote my broker, 'Past results are no guarantee of future performance.'"

'Let me guess: you want me to pour you a tall one, right?'

"If I'm not back at the maze by eight, my wife reels in the damn string."