Barktender Gifts

The four basic food groups: Dry, Moist, Biscuit, Bone.

James Bond in a Snow Globe

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Yoga for Alcoholics

"Now I really hate poetry."

'No ice.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

We'll have Manhattans...

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

Join me in a Martini?

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."