Barking Bach Fanatic Gifts

Johann Sebastian Bark.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'Arf! Arf!'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

Dog phrenology

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

Sonata for Piano and Dog

Dog in therapy.

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

'Wow, it's busy...I hope we can find a barking spot!'

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

Man's best friend - Man's worst friend - Man's only friend.

"Since when did your time spend being man's best friend become billable hours."

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

Baroque Bach Mountain

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

'Oh I've seen this before - an encounter with the Goldberg Variations I fear!'

Dog

'No, no, no I said SIT'

'Hunger is a terrible thing, especially around dinner time!'

"Hang on a second! This nutcase is allowed on the furniture, but I'm not?!"

"Sorry to disturb you, Ma'am, but we've had some reports of a dog barking."

'Sure, Dog Shows can be stressful, but I just love the time and attention Master gives me while preparing for them...'