Bark Philosopher Gifts

"I yip, therefore I am."

"I bark a lot, sure. But it's not like I couldn't quit if I really wanted to."

Barks in code.

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"Have you tried biting him?"

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

"They’re real."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

'...and I know exactly how to interpret his barks.'

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"That's just not the real me."

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"Been there, drunk that."

"It just happens...one day you wake up and you find that your best billable hours are behind you."

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

A day in the life of a dog.

"He's sending an instant message."

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

'Actually, mine is a useless hunter, but we both love wandering idly in the woods...'

'I heard my master say I was getting fixed...I didn't even know I was broken!'

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."