Bark Analyst Gifts

"All the barking – NOW do you get it?"

"Have you tried biting him?"

Barks in code.

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

No Soliciting

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

'...and I know exactly how to interpret his barks.'

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"That's just not the real me."

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"I yip, therefore I am."

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

A day in the life of a dog.

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

'Actually, mine is a useless hunter, but we both love wandering idly in the woods...'

'I heard my master say I was getting fixed...I didn't even know I was broken!'

"He's sending an instant message."

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

"Hello? I`d like to report a missing person..."

Cruel Pet Tricks

"I bark a lot, sure. But it's not like I couldn't quit if I really wanted to."

Dog Dictionary: ARF bow-wow woof.

"I think he's lost."

Dog-English dictionary.

"Now watch this, bark recognition."