Bark Astronomers Gifts

Big Bark Theory (canine version of the origin of the universe)

Barks in code.

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

No Soliciting

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Have you tried biting him?"

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

'...and I know exactly how to interpret his barks.'

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"I yip, therefore I am."

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"That's just not the real me."

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

A day in the life of a dog.

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

'Actually, mine is a useless hunter, but we both love wandering idly in the woods...'

'I heard my master say I was getting fixed...I didn't even know I was broken!'

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

"He's sending an instant message."

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

"I think he's lost."

Cruel Pet Tricks

"Hello? I`d like to report a missing person..."

"I bark a lot, sure. But it's not like I couldn't quit if I really wanted to."

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

Dog Dictionary: ARF bow-wow woof.

Dog-English dictionary.