Barista Wannabe Gifts

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Selling lemon latt�

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

Today's special... donuts.

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Non-Power Breakfast

'Who gets the decaf?'

Time for tea and friendship.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

"Right now it's between you and two hundred and fifty other people who came to Seattle, moved in with five roommates, joined a band, took a job in a coffee bar, got fed up, had a meeting with themselves, and decided it was time to go out and find a real job."

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

'Can I have flies with that'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Boss, remember when you said you'd consider giving me a raise if I were to show initiative? No. I used the caf

'The King of what?'

Coffee shop

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.