Barista Skills Gifts

"A large skim latte, double shot, no 'have an awesome day.'"

"Hulk hate puny barista’s rosette pattern latte art!!"

Aliens Coffee

"Would you like a cup of drip coffee while you wait for your pour over?"

"I wanted a job with a few perks."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Selling lemon latt�

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Today's special... donuts.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'Who gets the decaf?'

Time for tea and friendship.

Non-Power Breakfast

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Mea Maxima Cuppa

"Right now it's between you and two hundred and fifty other people who came to Seattle, moved in with five roommates, joined a band, took a job in a coffee bar, got fed up, had a meeting with themselves, and decided it was time to go out and find a real job."

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

Boss, remember when you said you'd consider giving me a raise if I were to show initiative? No. I used the caf

'Can I have flies with that'

Evolution of a coffee drinker.