Bargain Hunter Humorist Gifts

Motorway Services - Fool English Breakfast �99

Visual Gag Budget Tooth Whitening A Con man offering cheap tooth whitening using white house paint

'You now have over 1,750,000 travel points. Enough to get you from here to your car in the parking lot.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Beach con-man.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Cut Price

Will work for ETFs

SALE

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"How soon will this be a remnant

Countervailing Clichés.

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.