Bargain Bonanza Devotees Gifts

'Why not just serve Thanksgiving dinner in the shoe department next year and be done with it??'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

A Quiet Rebuke.

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

Fred and Nancy believed that their mutual love of a good sale would be enough to overcome 'the species issue'... but they were wrong.

Customer Convention

Online Shopping.

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

'Why pay the airline $7.00 for a beer, when I can get a drone to deliver 6 for the same price?'

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

How much would you take off for cash?

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

'Water into wine is certainly impressive. D'you do water into petrol?'

"There is such a thing as a free lunch-it just tastes bad."

Black Friday

Clothes sale - everything must go!

'If you promise to never try to open the locked attic door, the owner will take $20,00 off!'

'You're my 100,000th conviction... so, I'm going to take 25 off your sentence.'

Autos. You can drive a hard bargain, but you may find a bargain is hard to drive.

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

'They've got a great deal here. When you buy one meal, I get mine half price!'

Bargains

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

Sale today - 50% off everything!

'No thanks. I never sign a sales deal at the door.'

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

Real estate.