Barfly Chuckler Gifts

'Would a motorist be up for damages? Not unless he had his car with him.'

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"I consider myself a passionate man, but, of course, a lawyer first."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

"I don't know if I've mentioned this before, Greg, but you are a very attractive man."

"I've spent the last 6 months teaching myself escapology."

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

'Say, did you know that we actually only use a very small portion of our brain?'

'You know you haven't been good, and I know you haven't been good, but good, nevertheless, is your public stance.'

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

Thank you for not engaging in pointless debates.

"On this diet, you can eat all you want of anything you can grow."

"The reason I couldn't make it as a lawyer is I couldn't pass a bar."

'I made good money - until they added colour to the twenty dollar bills.'

"Sorry, Jeff. Two's company, three's an infestation."

"That must be earlier worm."

Pluto Named Dwarf Planet

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"I keep getting into a flap."

If this works, our entertainment worries are long gone!

"I'm installing a backup camera. I'm tired of you sending me out to repair all the chimneys you back into."

"Yeah, our first album went vinyl."

'I'ts good we don't have to make a living up here. I sold life insurance.'

'We NEVER let bygones be bygones!'

"Actually, sir, the rules were chiseled in stone."

"The Foie Gras parfait sounds nice, and the ox cheek daube with star anise. But we've decided to go for the leftovers."