Barbecue Fan Gifts

Hen, pig and cow sunbathing turn into fried egg,bacon and burger.

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom or night will stop Ed from overcooking the fish."

"Over millions of years, carbon turns to diamond. Yet it took dad plus his grill mere minutes to turn last night's marinated chicken into that carbon."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'Steak Ted?'

Desert Island BBQ

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

Barbeque Casualty.

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

His New Grillfriend

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

Ode to a Grill

Hamlet

Turtle Trailer Court

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"He won't stop and ask for directions when he COOKS, either."

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"Tunnel of love"

"He was sent here from the future to terminate me, but then he really got into grilling."

When Grammarians Grill: 'Well done, well-done, or, well, done?'

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

"I'm a monster."

Tunnel of Whale Guts

"What about the five that fell through?"

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

The first law of barbecuing. Your tongs will never be long enough.