Bar Pun Enthusiast Pillows

"Three guys walk into a bar. . . It's no joke. They really did, and with no mask!"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Fast food. Even faster food

hard-boiled egg...

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'