Bar Opening Gifts

"Heads up, Mr. B. Come February, we make the switch to high-def booze."

"Right, let the consumption of alcohol begin."

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Shaken not stirred

"Have you seen my dad?"

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

You said you wanted beer with hops !

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'I grew sick of Madison Avenue,so I quit,bought the bar and never looked back.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

'I can't find a dry martini anywhere.'

Florist "Say it with cacti"

Body by Jake

Mary Margaret, the best bar Nun.

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

The Bar & Grill of Ordinary Men: Quiet Desperation 11 am - closing (Karaoke on Saturday)

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

Anton's Bar and Grill

You have had enough

The Reaper's Arms

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'