Bar Opening T-Shirts

"Heads up, Mr. B. Come February, we make the switch to high-def booze."

"Right, let the consumption of alcohol begin."

Shaken not stirred

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

You said you wanted beer with hops !

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

Florist "Say it with cacti"

'I can't find a dry martini anywhere.'

Body by Jake

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

Anton's Bar and Grill

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

You have had enough

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

The Reaper's Arms

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Mary Margaret, the best bar Nun.

The Bar & Grill of Ordinary Men: Quiet Desperation 11 am - closing (Karaoke on Saturday)

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Business As Usual Bar & Grill: 'How's business? 'Don't ask!'

Ostrich Bar