Pub Reopening Gifts

The Reaper's Arms

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Beer Stall

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"A pint! I'll need proof, and that's human years, not dog years!"

Shaken not stirred

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

The Reaper's Arms

"Have you seen my dad?"

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"I forget to drink."

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

Surreal ale

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

"Just water for me, please."

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Infinity Tavern

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

'The Saxon King' pub

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

Barman In Love.