Bar-hopper Banter Pillows

... Harold at the stomach pump.

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

Dolphin friendly tuna

Beer Stall

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'I like you, you've got balls.'

Just the one...

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

Next Round Indicator

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'