Bar Banter Enthusiasts Pillows

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"Plus cute. Did I mention extremely cute, for a fusion chef?"

"That's enough, boys! Take it outside or online!"

'...then he asked me to drive down the road with the mobile to give him phone sex.'

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

Cruising with Obama and his wing man.

"I'm saving my abstinence for marriage."

"I'd feel a lot better if I had $41,568,946 in my checking account."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'I like you, you've got balls.'

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Hello darling, what do you do for a living?"

'Don't you think you've had enough?'

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

'That guy is SO tacky.'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

'Say! You're new here aren't you?'

"It's Olive isn't it?"

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

"I'm not whining."