Bar Banter Lover Pillows

'What I've just has my teeth whitened,'

'Well, you DO have free will... you just choose to be a fatalist.'

'I've just discovered how much we two have in common - including my boyfriend!'

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"I'm old school. Instead of ranting on social media, I just scream in people's faces."

'Yeah, but did you hear the crowd roar when I hooked the cape out of your hands?'

'Really? A Great Ape? I'm a Great Dane myself...'

'It's much more pleasant in here since you banned smoking, I must say!!' 'PARP!'

Traditional ale,Traditional Drunk

'Reindeer aren't as sweet as you think they are Jimmy, better make it a double.'

'If I can drink your beer in one sip, will you give it to me?'

'In my experience, two types of men order pink squirrels. First, there's the guy who's secure enough about his masculinity that he doesn't care what people think. And then there's the guy like you...'

'You should look on the bright side, mister -- what if your wife DID understand you?'

'I really want a tiny waist but I'll settle for a winey taste!'

'Here's the secret to a profitable 99-cent pint night - 14 ounces of foam, 2 ounces of beer.'

'Are you looking at my pint?'

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

"Have you met my wing man?"

'Dinosaur extinction'. . . Typical 'fake news'!

BEER BELLY

"I've always had a thing for women with big....hair!"

'He's not too bright, Flo - But I like that in a new Husband.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Let me know when you want to start the operation."

Let me know when happy hour is over. I can only maintain this level of hilarity for so long.

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"... And I’m not saying he wouldn’t make a good president, but with a name like ‘Mitt Romney’ he’d make a better quarterback."

"I don't know anything about global warming, but these ice cubes are melting like crazy."

"It was sort of an after-the-bell transaction."

"It's a hassle, but I can use the handicapped-parking spots."

"Ooh Margaret, bad boy at six o'clock."

"Crazy presidents come and go, but we've always had the Federal Bureaucracy for balance."

"It's Olive isn't it?"

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'