Bar Association Conference Gifts

I have to tell you, your honor, I'm feeling pretty optimistic about my case right now. Have a nice verdict.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

Inclusive speech

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"Gross."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

The Card Flinger

"It's our new corporate strategy. I'd get on board if I were you, Watkins."

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

"Quick, let's make the decision before everyone else shows up!"

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.