Banquet Goer Gifts

Umpire's Banquet.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

All dressed up and no place to go

Masquerade

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Redhead

Carioca

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

Guy dressed as an ostrich at a fancy dress party. Lump in birds throat like a real bird.

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

Christmas sweater alternatives

Cheers

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

Blue Haired Lady in Ballgown

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

Leo McKern

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"Aperitif?"

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"I'm terrible with names, but never fail at fingerprint, facial or voice recognition."

'At that moment, across a crowded room, their thighs met.'

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"