Buffet Goer Gifts

When Icarus Flew Too Close To The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'A cheeky red?'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

I love Cannelloni

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

'Shortly you will be running for your life. I wouldn't order dessert.'

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Shall I let them breathe."

'Don't you love these all you can eat buffets?'

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

'Your pizza will be out in a few minutes. Tony's looking for a ladder to get it off the ceiling.'

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

Happy hour.

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

'Physical or Social Science?'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

'You want to see a list of ingredients? -- Are you trying to make trouble?'

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"I realize your steak was tough but you didn't have to make such a stink about it."

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

'How would you like that? Medium, rare, or wrapped in plastic on a foam tray?'