Banking Buzzkill Gifts

'That sign is misleading. They mean if they get an authorization number.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"I don't like the look of this."

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

Spanish bank needs propping up.

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

Big Loan, Little Deposit Bank

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

Offshore tax havens.

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

Freddie Mac and Fannie May takeover

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

'Sheesh... I wish the government would handle the finance reform a bit more discreetly...'

loan

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

'As long as the gov't has a printing press, all deposits federally insured.'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

Save! O% interest on your deposits.

'A loan, certainly, how much would you like?'

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."