Banking Buzzkill Prints

'That sign is misleading. They mean if they get an authorization number.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"I don't like the look of this."

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

Spanish bank needs propping up.

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

Big Loan, Little Deposit Bank

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

Offshore tax havens.

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'As long as the gov't has a printing press, all deposits federally insured.'

loan

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

'Sheesh... I wish the government would handle the finance reform a bit more discreetly...'

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

Freddie Mac and Fannie May takeover

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

Save! O% interest on your deposits.

'Or, to put it in layman's terms, it's a major buzzkill.'

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."

'A loan, certainly, how much would you like?'