Banking Blooper Buffs Gifts

You want the money for a house? Boring! Come back when you need it for something cool, like a speedboat.'

British savings accounts

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"I don't like the look of this."

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

Spanish bank needs propping up.

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

Big Loan, Little Deposit Bank

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

Offshore tax havens.

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

'Sheesh... I wish the government would handle the finance reform a bit more discreetly...'

Freddie Mac and Fannie May takeover

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

loan

'As long as the gov't has a printing press, all deposits federally insured.'

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'