Banking And Finance Jokester Gifts

'My latest invention...the credit rock!'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

"Let's vote. All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing our secret bank account and splitting?"

'I thought up the term 'too big to fail'. So where's my bonus?'

I can't believe It!

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'You call it a beer belly, I prefer to think of it as a lump sum settlement of liquid assets.'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

Ace Borrowing Company (formerly Ace Loan Company)

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

"Tag! Your salary's frozen."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

"I'm afraid we don't offer student loans to elementary school pupils."

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

'I just asked to see the annual figures...'

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

Some cultures use fish as money. 'Got change for a halibut?' 'Sure! Minnows OK?

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'Your mom likes you ... well, heck, that's all we need.'