Bank Intrigue Fan Gifts

"Are you going to believe me or a bunch of hysterical bank tellers?"

'This Libor rate scandal gives new meaning to the term 'Fixed'-rate mortgage.'

I have a dream.

'Miss Roberts, turn off the video camera!'

The Apprentice: Recession Special.

"Will the current economic trend end in a whimper or a bang? For answers, let's turn to tonight's guests!"

"Happiness is more important than money,but it is easier to count money."

"They're telling us how many dollars they want. So far, it's up to 5,000!"

Harvest Data Festival

Coco knew he was doomed

'Give me a pen that isn't on a little chain and out of ink!'

The marriage of Snowden and Maduro?

"You want fries with that? Oops... that's my other job."

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

'I'm conducting my own stress test!'

'Whenever I want to be dominated, I visit my bank manager...'

'I need to borrow enough to get myself out of debt.'

"I should tell you this transaction is being recorded, and may appear on my blog."

Pied Piper luring money from the bank.

'I was a bank clerk, and one day I charged the King $17.50 for a bounced check.'

'Could I have a loan of a cup of sugar please?'

'There's your problem...ingot blocking the filter.'

"Come back later when our computers are back up."

"Try to be patient, sir. Give your stick-up text a few seconds to upload."

'It's Mr Nutkin Sir, he'd like to withdraw the contents of his safety deposit box. Same as last year.'

'What do you mean overdraft? I still have 12 cheques left. '

'Wear this on the train, it's better than people knowing you're a banker.'

"I'm in no hurry - if you wanna to go next."

"I didn't say it was your fault . . . I'm just sayin' that next time we should do a little more research!"

FIRST NATIONAL BANK Is there any way I can mortgage a warranty?

'We charge an extra fee if your money is crinkled.'

Leaving Loan Department - "Your first mistake was calling Mr Lenhurst a Bloodsucker."

"Their new owners are a German bank."

'I'd like to apply for a new credit card -- my old one maxed out.'

"Yes, the award is shaped like a pyramid, but I prefer the term Ponzi."