Bangs Aficionado Gifts

I used to have bangs: a memoir

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

Hacking through ice in order to fish

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

Why would a dog wear a hat?

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

Man indignant at having caught no fish

The Brazilian Blow dry

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

Western Outfitters.

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

"Jewelry store, visit our ATM."

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"I designed it with you particularly in mind, Mrs. Dillman!"

Four fishermen catch the same fish.

Australian Mobile Bar

'Make it look like an accident.'

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

Man and bird

A day at the races

"What do you mean, I hardly moved all night? I was constantly dancing around politics, religion and the weather."

'It's called a 'hat' -- you tip it to women instead of hitting them over the head with a club.'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

One youth says: 'Lamppost, bollard, tarmac, kerb.' Other says: Zebra crossing,traffic hump, postbox.' Caption: Street language

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

"I'm going out for beef chow mein - want anything?"

"And were you wearing that particular hat on the night of the murder?"

Pizza London Eye

"We try to set aside a little time for silliness."

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

'You daft cow...I said I needed some company and was out for a duck!'