Band Aficionado T-Shirts

"I didn't like the direction the band was going, so I decided to strike out on my own."

'We've got 'Jumpin' Jake' Stevens on drums, 'Slick' Chuck on bass and 'Wasted Pete' Walthons on the trumpet.'

"How awful! - was he a band, or an orchestra conductor?"

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'If only every year was an election year.'

Orchestra.

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"Toi Toi Toi!"

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

"The Monster Mash wasn't just about having fun. We were protesting Vietnam."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

Woman crying with happiness.

Bryan Ferry

Fossil record player.

Six jazz instruments.

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Violin Practise