Label Aficionado T-Shirts

"Pretty label... shiny bottle... I'll take it!"

"How do we know the label isn't on upside down?"

Peanuts roasted & salted

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Back to school.

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

Copywriter's blank paper compared to the gridded screen of a content provider.

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

They get into debt so fast these days...

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

'The client loves your work. Cut everything except for their logo.'

"How awful! - was he a band, or an orchestra conductor?"

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"We’d like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand for a handbag."

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

Great Poets of Catalogdom

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

"Advertising is a simple business, Nathan. Always remember that less is more, except, of course, for those situations where less is actually less."