Logo Aficionado T-Shirts

'You know, it really was worth the extra $5 million to come up with the perfect logo.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"Two vegans, please."

Laughing Zone Ahead

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"Wow, what a DILF."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

Copywriter's blank paper compared to the gridded screen of a content provider.

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

They get into debt so fast these days...

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Since we've remodeled, you are no longer here.

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

Ginger's bakery: Our Cookies Snap!

"We're looking for something more over-the-couch-ish."

'The client loves your work. Cut everything except for their logo.'