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"I've always been a big Otis Redding fan."

'Either play faster or get out the band.'

'Alright Billy, until your 'staccato' touch improves, we'll be having our piano lessons here at the stove.'

Cats play jazz to a rat.

"Wow, thanks. I'm a big fan. I've downloaded all your stuff."

'For my next selection, I will download a music file from the internet.'

"Truly a magnificent emperor! While Rome burns, Nero plays an instrument that hasn't been invented yet."

"Do you have any true-crime podcasts?"

"I don't want to play for the audience. I want to play for the fans."

'The thing I like about jazz is nobody notices if I hit the wrong notes.'

Steven Tyler's toothbrush.

'Everybody stand back! I'm an ethnomusicologist.'

How to write

Espresso. Expressivo.

'Oh GREAT, a DARN PUNKTURE!'

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

Johannes Brahms

One man band

Groovy Baby

'Cause I'm a cowboy in a steel pen I hiiiiide and I'm wanted grilled or stir-friiiiied!'

The Stomach Dance - inc. figure reminiscent of the Bon-Mots grotesques

Dmitri Shostakovich.

"Last night, I tried out some new stuff, but tonight I'm only drinking the classics."

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

Champagne Polka

"Scat!"

Eighties Throwback.

'There's too much Mahler in our marriage. We need some Mozart!'

Opera Singer Looking Out of Place Sitting On The Bar Piano

Franz Liszt

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"Four years at Juilliard for this."

"No, Pamela, you do not have 'a right to sing the blues.' "

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'