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"I've always been a big Otis Redding fan."

Robert Drake

'Either play faster or get out the band.'

'Alright Billy, until your 'staccato' touch improves, we'll be having our piano lessons here at the stove.'

Cats play jazz to a rat.

"Wow, thanks. I'm a big fan. I've downloaded all your stuff."

'For my next selection, I will download a music file from the internet.'

'The thing I like about jazz is nobody notices if I hit the wrong notes.'

"I don't want to play for the audience. I want to play for the fans."

"Truly a magnificent emperor! While Rome burns, Nero plays an instrument that hasn't been invented yet."

Steven Tyler's toothbrush.

'Everybody stand back! I'm an ethnomusicologist.'

"Do you have any true-crime podcasts?"

'Oh GREAT, a DARN PUNKTURE!'

How to write

Espresso. Expressivo.

Groovy Baby

Dmitri Shostakovich.

Johannes Brahms

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

The Stomach Dance - inc. figure reminiscent of the Bon-Mots grotesques

'Cause I'm a cowboy in a steel pen I hiiiiide and I'm wanted grilled or stir-friiiiied!'

'Feelers, nothing more than feelers...'

Elvis Purresley impersonators.

One man band

Michael Jackson.

'Teenage Beethoven.'

'I've just discovered a drug Keith Richards hasn't taken...'

"Scat!"

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"Four years at Juilliard for this."

Antonin Dvorak

'He's busy right now. I have to put you on hold. Would you like to hear show tunes, classical or easy listening?'

Willie Nelson, hold music.