Banality Appreciator Gifts

"Tarpits? A maintenance nightmare. We replaced them with office cubicles and never looked back!"

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

'Puppies' at that playful stage where he likes to rearrange the furniture.'

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

"Just where do you think you're going? You don't have the brains to graduate!"

Man reacts to being goosed. Caption: The secret work of Doberman Pinschers

'We're design classics son - unchanged for hundreds of millions of years...These new gimmicky things come and go.'

Painting the Sistine Chapel. 1508. 1509. 1510. 1511. 1512. It looks great, Michelangelo, but there's one thing I don't understand. Why didn't you just paint it in the regular way and then mount it on the ceiling?

'Your opinions are a rephrasing of my opinions. I like that in a subordinate.'

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

Foolish Sid turns to look, and is immediately tackled and devoured by the duck.

'Known in his youth as the 'Keister Bunny', due to the many atomic wedgies he received, Peter would become the greatest of all cottontails.'

Michelangelo's David

'There there how were you to know it wasn't Jeremy Beadle.'

That guy is a walking contradiction.

"Nice touch, Jenkins. I like a man who salutes."

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principal's office. It's nothing personal. It's just a classroom management thing.'

Thank you, Thank you... One quick announcement - The owner of a large orange gourd - Please move your vehicle - You're parked on a loading zone.

"Baldo, no one likes being told what to do...but taking direction is a part of life."

'It's past now, but for a minute there I almost thought about going out and buying you some bling.'

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"

'It's either a crank call or some idiot's set his loin cloth on fire.'

Sword swallower's groin extends as if its the sword

A Drive-By Glutening

Unfortunately for Gronk, in the limited caveman language 'Help' and 'Looks like rain' sound identical.'

'You don't have to worry about paying for that 'new paint job on the car' anymore Dad.'

Here Lies Bill Smith, Victim of a Mad Axe Murderer, Rest in Pieces

Priorities

Pigeons are evil,

It's not deja vu if you get it every day, Bob.

"You ask why I'm on your counter but I might as easily ask why you're on my floor."