Banality Enthusiast Gifts

"If you could eat only one type of grass for the rest of your life, what would you choose?"

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

'Let go of that balloon right now!'

Green Balloon

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

Stop saying 'You're the boss' I KNOW I'm the boss!

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

"What's on my schedule today, Fred?"

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'Personally I think one great improvement to these tea dances would be some tables.'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Around here it got a little tricky...

Birthday Racing Car

'Trucker's tan?'

'Our CEO's philosophy is that a happy environment means a happy bottom line.'

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."

'Excuse me, it's 1-2-3, 1-2-3, not bum-tit-tit, bum-tit-tit!'

Valentines Balloons

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'How many balloons did the kids tie to your doghouse?'

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

Thank You, Goals Achieved... and then some!

"I like to keep things simple."

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

'Look, O'Brien, you can't just waltz in here like that and demand a raise.'

'It was an exciting party, especially when the firemen came to put out the fire!'