Banality Appreciator Pillows

"Tarpits? A maintenance nightmare. We replaced them with office cubicles and never looked back!"

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Puppies' at that playful stage where he likes to rearrange the furniture.'

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

"Just where do you think you're going? You don't have the brains to graduate!"

'We're design classics son - unchanged for hundreds of millions of years...These new gimmicky things come and go.'

Man reacts to being goosed. Caption: The secret work of Doberman Pinschers

'Your opinions are a rephrasing of my opinions. I like that in a subordinate.'

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

Michelangelo's David

'There there how were you to know it wasn't Jeremy Beadle.'

"Nice touch, Jenkins. I like a man who salutes."

Foolish Sid turns to look, and is immediately tackled and devoured by the duck.

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principal's office. It's nothing personal. It's just a classroom management thing.'

Thank you, Thank you... One quick announcement - The owner of a large orange gourd - Please move your vehicle - You're parked on a loading zone.

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"

Sword swallower's groin extends as if its the sword

"Baldo, no one likes being told what to do...but taking direction is a part of life."

A Drive-By Glutening

'It's past now, but for a minute there I almost thought about going out and buying you some bling.'

'It's either a crank call or some idiot's set his loin cloth on fire.'

Here Lies Bill Smith, Victim of a Mad Axe Murderer, Rest in Pieces

Unfortunately for Gronk, in the limited caveman language 'Help' and 'Looks like rain' sound identical.'

'You don't have to worry about paying for that 'new paint job on the car' anymore Dad.'

"What part of Noh don't you understand?"

Pigeons are evil,

Scottish drill sergeant.

"If you could eat only one type of grass for the rest of your life, what would you choose?"