Ballpark Aficionado Gifts

'Two beef and pork by-products and a turkey dog, please!'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

350 Feet.

Perils of the double play.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

Currently Boston

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Think of me as the designated sitter."

'OK, now let's switch places.'

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

Vendor selling testosterone.

Sheltering in place.

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

I love Basketball.

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

Extra innings.

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

"Try letting the ball come to you."

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

Official Team Cap With Beard

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

'Here is is. 'Vicarious: imagined participation in another's experience' ... it doesn't mean you actually get to play on your son's team.'