Ballpark Aficionado T-Shirts

'Two beef and pork by-products and a turkey dog, please!'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Perils of the double play.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Currently Boston

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

Sheltering in place.

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

"Think of me as the designated sitter."

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

I love Basketball.

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

"Try letting the ball come to you."

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

Official Team Cap With Beard

'Here is is. 'Vicarious: imagined participation in another's experience' ... it doesn't mean you actually get to play on your son's team.'

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."