Baldness Banisher Gifts

'I see they're having a wig sale at Carpeteria.'

"Before you go out, I've warmed your wig in the microwave!"

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Ed's receding hairline!

"That's an everblue."

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

Balding gnomes

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

Baldness Facts

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

"His baldness was way out of control, so we had to put him into a medically induced comb-over."

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

'You can't join the Federal Witness Protection program just to keep your friends from seeing your bald spot.'

'Pillow too soft?'

"The combover works even less now that you're using your back hair."

"The Five Major Warning Signs of Baldness."

"Keep it long at the back and big and bushy on top please."

Bad Scalp Day

"Remember, son, keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and anyone who says 'Beer me' as far away as possible."

"Hey... Where'd everybody go?"

'I'm prescribing Rogaine for your head and Roloss for your back.'

How Chickens Deal With Baldness.

Toupee shop showcases hairy head covering.

"I say it's government-mandated broccoli, and I say the hell with it."

"Not too much off the top, Floyd!"

"This one is called 'Hell Toupee'