Baldness Gifts

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'

'Doctor how can I avoid falling hair?'

'Please visit my website.'

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

'It's a smaller planet than I thought.'

'The truly enlightened don't NEED comb-overs!'

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Snail Pattern Balding.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

The barber

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

Balding gnomes

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Bald man with a brush on his head

Baldness Facts

Your male pattern baldness is partly genetic and partly hereditary.

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

"His baldness was way out of control, so we had to put him into a medically induced comb-over."

"The combover works even less now that you're using your back hair."

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

"The Five Major Warning Signs of Baldness."

'Worst case of premature baldness I've ever seen.'

Bald hairdresser recomending hair restoring lotion

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

"I never appreciated having a cat until I lost my hair."

"Operator, get me my hair!"

"Hey... Where'd everybody go?"

'The only thing that stops hair falling is the floor.'

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

"Hey - a crop circle! Let's land here...."

The four stages of male hair loss.

Half full head of hair, half empty head of hair.

'I'm prescribing Rogaine for your head and Roloss for your back.'

"Of course there's no medical cure for baldness!"