Bagged Soil Collector Gifts

Clean dirt.

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

"I shop, therefore I am."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

'It's not just any old rucksack Nathan. Nasa's entire spring collection is built around this baby.'

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

Utility Chic.

'Then a window popped up and asked, 'Are you sure you want to empty trash?' I shouldn't have clicked 'okeydokey.''

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

Ad Valorem

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

"You put your family in with the aluminum cans again, Mrs. Price."

'Me, I'm home-schooled: Getting to and from school was taking too much of my time...'

Geekasaurus.

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

Typical...You don't see one for weeks then they all arrive together.'

'Look dear - the first skip of spring...'

'Big advantage!!'

Cafe offers corn several ways.

"I stopped recycling after my garbage guy slipped me the number of the nearest AA branch."

Baseballs Golf Balls Spitballs.

The evolution of a woman's purse.

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

Corn Lizard

Late library book. Judge says, 'I don't think you're taking this seriously'.

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

"Have a nice day"