Bad With Technology Enthusiast Gifts

"Unfortunately he's just not smart enough to set them up!"

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"I'd like to see you do this online."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

Domestic Spying Drones

John Bull presenting the building for the 1862 International Exhibition to Britannia

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

Beavers worshipping a chainsaw.

"Gramps, you were alive before everyone knew what you were doing on social media... What was that called?" "Bliss!"

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

"Whatever happened to throwing Frisbees around?"

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

"Of course you couldn't be replaced by an app. It would take at least two."

Gamers

Man mistakes new ironclad warship for Noah's Ark

'This is my new carbon fibre shell: Ten times as strong, fifty times as light...'

"I see that you're very concerned about the rise of AI technology."

"The 'Age of the Computer'? We get a pencil on a piece of string!"

iPhone: Leading Our Grand March Into Mass Mediocrity

"Hmmm. I'm gonna have to Google this."

Fresh Eggs: Now With Free How To Suck Eggs Download!

I've traveled back through time to warn: The aliens are here. Open Mike Night Presents Future Guy. They hitched rides in on Halley's Comet every time it's near. Living nanites masquerading as technology … depending on the gullibility of you and me. 200,000 years of riding horses and buggies ... and suddenly we're 3-D printing tools and cars and trees? They're everywhere, just biding time to finish their big plan. They're in your phones, your watch, your cars, and they are nearly done. The brain

If They See Something, They Do Something — To You

Be sure to tell us if the school tries cyberspying again. Ok, mom. It's wrong to snap webcam pics of students. Uh-huh. They shouldn't use computers that way! Besides, it's a waste of time. They could just check the kid's facebook page, What were they thinking?

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

Don't worry, Bob. There are some jobs a robot just can't do...like kissing ass.

'Man, look at these young guys! This 'wheel' thing is making them all soft. Next, they'll be using animals to pull themselves around!'

"Anything with amazon, I hear they treat their workforce like robots."

"So...As I was saying, nothing will actually change..."

'It's so much better since business became computerized -- it was so hard to blame things on typewriters.'