Technology Sarcastic Enthusiast Gifts

Early mobile phone laws

The cell phone soother for life.

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Now you can send it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"You are still here."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

'for more obit info, go to...'

Domestic Spying Drones

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"He was much more effective in the field."

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

AI Summit

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"Today, charges that Putin hacked Trump's tweets..."

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

'To redeem your wishes, fill out all required fields, including username and password.'

'Hello? IT? Yes, there's been a breach in security and I'm concerned about unauthorised access to my personal details.'