Technology Sarcastic Enthusiast Pillows

Early mobile phone laws

The cell phone soother for life.

"Now you can send it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"You are still here."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

'for more obit info, go to...'

Domestic Spying Drones

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

"He was much more effective in the field."

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

AI Summit

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

'To redeem your wishes, fill out all required fields, including username and password.'