Satirical Tech Lover Pillows

'Apparently the software has been bullying him.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

The cell phone soother for life.

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"Now you can send it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"You are still here."

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

'for more obit info, go to...'

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

Robot Robber

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

AI Summit

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.