Satirical Tech Lover Pillows

'Apparently the software has been bullying him.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

The cell phone soother for life.

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"Now you can send it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"You are still here."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

'for more obit info, go to...'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

Robot Robber

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

AI Summit

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Today, charges that Putin hacked Trump's tweets..."

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."